Day 1: Konstanz

“He’ll arrive hungry, and tired.” –British Airways commercial

Vacation officially starts, in my book, when you leave the house, but the fun doesn’t really start until you reach your destination. For me, that’s getting to the customs agent. I love getting that stamp in my passport, and if I’m going to a German speaking country, I’ll chat the agent up. Especially. My German grammar is abysmal, and my vocabulary is grade school – but I have a native command of German phonics. I can make the correct vowel sounds, along with the l’s, r’s, and dreaded ch. I’m guessing there are a few thousand natural born Americans who can do correct pronunciation in German, most having gone to school here. Anyway, it’s fun to get the surprise look from the locals, they never expect it.

Customs cleared, car rented, off we were to Konstanz. Constance (in English) lies at the western end of the Bodensee (aka Lake Constance), where it funnels into the Rhine. It sits right on the border with Switzerland, and enjoys (as far as Germany goes) a considerable amount of sunshine, due to some micro-climate effects.

Konstanz also escaped serious bombing during WWII, which is a constant theme in visiting German cities -- which ones were leveled and rebuilt? Konstanz’ old town is well preserved, while Friedrichshafen (30 minutes away on the lake) doesn’t have one anymore. One tends to visit German cities for their old town, though some rebuilds (or new builds) are worth the while, too.

We reached our destination, the Inselhotel Steigenberger, at 11:00. This is another common problem I covered before – flights land early in the morning, hotels become available later in the afternoon. You want a place to rest, wash up, maybe take a nap, but you don’t have one.
Steigenberger, to its credit, did its best to hurry a room for us. But our room was still occupied when we arrived, not much they could do. We deposited our bag at the desk, off we went to lunch.

You’re freshly landed in Germany. You want some German food, right? Right. Just don’t land on a Monday as we did. As is often the case in the US, German restaurants close on a Monday. The top three TripAdvisor locations close to us were shuttered; the streets were empty. Our salvation was an Italian joint a hundred paces into the old town – it was deserted and looked a little suspect, but that’s because we approached from the rear, where their outdoor seating was.

 Actually the food was fine – continental pizzas are different from the ones we get, very thin crusts that are meant to be eaten with knife and fork (as are all German meals). Don’t ever feel guilty about going to Europe and having pizza. These weren’t the best I ever had, but they certainly weren’t the worst. And they served wine. The Steigenberger called us just as the check was paid, one room was ready.

“Just as the check was paid” – that was a nasty surprise. Not the amount, mind you, but the payment method. German retailers have gone completely to Chip+PIN on their credit cards, if they take them at all. Check your wallet – you may have a card with a chip, but do you have a PIN? Do you know it? It’s not nearly as common here. This was new to me, and meant most of my plastic was useless (including my BBVA Amex that was giving me 10X points). You’ll need to make sure, before going to Germany, that you have cards that will work. We had cash right then and there, and relied on our checking accounts after that. Which is a pain, and not always possible. Luckily, the hotels take traditional Mag Stripe cards, or we’d have slept in a shelter.

Back to the Steigenberger – literally for us at the time. The Steigenberger is a destination hotel, which means you’re more likely to spend time there outside of sleeping. As the hotel name indicates, the grounds are technically on an island (a small but swift stream separates it from the mainland), and have a small but lovely garden, plus a ramp into the lake for swimming (only for the brave – the current looks to be too fast for any swimmer to combat. I’d be halfway to Amsterdam right now if I hopped in).

The hotel itself is a renovated former cloister/convent (another recurring theme in Europe -- what to do with all the old unused monasteries), with correspondingly frescoed atrium depicting significant moments in Konstanz history. Should you go there, look for the saucy wench receiving the fishes during the age of the lake pole houses. Saucy wenches are a Konstanz theme, you’ll find.

The Steigenberger’s endearing feature is its seaside terrace, perfect for cocktails, of which we availed ourselves copiously (I can recommend their Mai Tai, though I switched to wine to keep the cost in check – it was early in the vacation, after all). On a clear day (of which we had two, on the trip) you can see the high Alps rising over the opposite shore. Even without those, the location was ideal.

The hotel has a highly respected restaurant, and my wife and parents would dine their on day 2 while I was in Switzerland. For day 1, we ate at a perfectly good spot a few paces down, on the water. Just outside the restaurant was one of Konstanz’ more famous landmarks – a rotating statue of a prostitute (saucy wench alert!) holding a shrunken pope and shrunken emperor in each arm. There’s a story to it that I won’t recount, but suffice it to say that the locals have taken to this oddity with particular zeal. And why not? I’m proud of Birmingham’s iconic Vulcan statue, but now I think – it’s all good and fine, but can’t we get it to rotate, too?

And, that's a day -- remember, that first day just won't have much activity. Your proper strategy is to get yourself ready for day 2.